Dear Potatobugs:
Aunt Mark is writing a confess-all today about one of my secret addictions. After berating Super Bowl watchers and Jersey Shore viewers for weeks, it is time for me to put my own ass on the chopping block and call myself out for my own stupidity. I have already shared with you my deep rooted love affair with food, but there is something else I must admit to that sets my pacemaker to dancing at a rhumba tempo: Office Supplies. I do not know what is is about them, but I just cannot get enough of them. When I was a child, shopping for school supplies was THE most exciting part about going back to school in the Fall. I would pace the school supplies aisle at Ames or Jamesway, checking out all of the Trapper Keepers trying to decide which groovy version I was going with that year. The right pens, the righ folders, the perfect pencil case. I once had a pencil case that looked like a small Chips Ahoy box! Talk about combining two of my addictions into one.
As an adult, this fascination has been exacerbated by the creation of such stores as Office Max and Michaels. I can literally get dizzy over holding a pack of multi-colored Sharpee Pens. There is something about being able to permanently label things in Aqua Green ink that I find titillating. Hell..I think I had an orgasm once when I found three-pronged folders for sale 10/$1.00. Is it right for an old lady to leak a little pee over Wal-Marts yearly school supply sale where she stocks up on markers, glue, tape and spiral notebooks? The worst part about this addiction is, once purchased, there is something about the perfection of brand new, unopened school supplies, that I spend months resiting their use just to keep them looking pristine. As a result, I have boxes full of unopened school supplies that just sit there. I need to know: what is wrong with me? I cannot even begin to figure out where this addiction started or why? Was I sniffing White-Out at an early age? Was I denied rulers and Bic pens at early age? I just know that a woman of my age should not be pining away for the days when we had the lollipop pens, with the stem as the pen and candy as the cap, that wrote in colored ink and smelled of the flavor that went with that color. I lay in bed at night, falling asleep, dreaming of such things.
And as for the Super Bowl...Auntie is picking the Packers...she finds their name....worthy of pee leakage.
Aunt Mark is writing a confess-all today about one of my secret addictions. After berating Super Bowl watchers and Jersey Shore viewers for weeks, it is time for me to put my own ass on the chopping block and call myself out for my own stupidity. I have already shared with you my deep rooted love affair with food, but there is something else I must admit to that sets my pacemaker to dancing at a rhumba tempo: Office Supplies. I do not know what is is about them, but I just cannot get enough of them. When I was a child, shopping for school supplies was THE most exciting part about going back to school in the Fall. I would pace the school supplies aisle at Ames or Jamesway, checking out all of the Trapper Keepers trying to decide which groovy version I was going with that year. The right pens, the righ folders, the perfect pencil case. I once had a pencil case that looked like a small Chips Ahoy box! Talk about combining two of my addictions into one.
As an adult, this fascination has been exacerbated by the creation of such stores as Office Max and Michaels. I can literally get dizzy over holding a pack of multi-colored Sharpee Pens. There is something about being able to permanently label things in Aqua Green ink that I find titillating. Hell..I think I had an orgasm once when I found three-pronged folders for sale 10/$1.00. Is it right for an old lady to leak a little pee over Wal-Marts yearly school supply sale where she stocks up on markers, glue, tape and spiral notebooks? The worst part about this addiction is, once purchased, there is something about the perfection of brand new, unopened school supplies, that I spend months resiting their use just to keep them looking pristine. As a result, I have boxes full of unopened school supplies that just sit there. I need to know: what is wrong with me? I cannot even begin to figure out where this addiction started or why? Was I sniffing White-Out at an early age? Was I denied rulers and Bic pens at early age? I just know that a woman of my age should not be pining away for the days when we had the lollipop pens, with the stem as the pen and candy as the cap, that wrote in colored ink and smelled of the flavor that went with that color. I lay in bed at night, falling asleep, dreaming of such things.
And as for the Super Bowl...Auntie is picking the Packers...she finds their name....worthy of pee leakage.
