Dear Potato Bugs:
What is it with the rash of films coming out that are glorified music concerts featuring superstars in 3-D? I can see the fun of an action film in 3 -D: things flying at you fast, near misses, that sort of thing. But what can one possibly gain from seeing Miley Cyrus or Justin Bieber singing their empty pop crap in 3-D? The only person they could possibly be catering to is the deaf pederast...and frankly, I don't think we should be making movies for them. There are, however, some acts I think might benefit from the 3-D experience.
1. Gallagher: The fruit smashing fruit. I have no idea why this guy's destruction of watermelons has become an exciting way to pass the time, but I suppose airborne watermelon seeds flying at you might create the illusion of near misses. When he does his own balls, then we'll talk.
2. Dolly Parton: I think that goes without saying.
3. Pee-Wee Herman. We all know what Pee-Wee likes to do in the movie theatre right? Okay...go with me on this....what if we made a movie called "Pee-Wee Goes to the Movies" and filmed him at his "best?" Then produce it in 3-D, he can sit in the front row and watch himself while...just make sure the 3-D glasses come with a zamboni towel.
4. Jersey Shore -in 3 -D. I don't think anything would be more fun than to watch these people piss themselves, drown in their own vomit and treat venereal diseases in 3-D. I think it adds a certain Schadenfeude to the festivities. I'm convinced if we saw the show in 3-D that the Situation's abs would reveal themselves to be painted on.
5. The United States Government. Aunt Mark would pay anything to see these people capable of depth. Maybe 3-D glasses are the only way to get what we need out of them? Food for thought.
What is it with the rash of films coming out that are glorified music concerts featuring superstars in 3-D? I can see the fun of an action film in 3 -D: things flying at you fast, near misses, that sort of thing. But what can one possibly gain from seeing Miley Cyrus or Justin Bieber singing their empty pop crap in 3-D? The only person they could possibly be catering to is the deaf pederast...and frankly, I don't think we should be making movies for them. There are, however, some acts I think might benefit from the 3-D experience.
1. Gallagher: The fruit smashing fruit. I have no idea why this guy's destruction of watermelons has become an exciting way to pass the time, but I suppose airborne watermelon seeds flying at you might create the illusion of near misses. When he does his own balls, then we'll talk.
2. Dolly Parton: I think that goes without saying.
3. Pee-Wee Herman. We all know what Pee-Wee likes to do in the movie theatre right? Okay...go with me on this....what if we made a movie called "Pee-Wee Goes to the Movies" and filmed him at his "best?" Then produce it in 3-D, he can sit in the front row and watch himself while...just make sure the 3-D glasses come with a zamboni towel.
4. Jersey Shore -in 3 -D. I don't think anything would be more fun than to watch these people piss themselves, drown in their own vomit and treat venereal diseases in 3-D. I think it adds a certain Schadenfeude to the festivities. I'm convinced if we saw the show in 3-D that the Situation's abs would reveal themselves to be painted on.
5. The United States Government. Aunt Mark would pay anything to see these people capable of depth. Maybe 3-D glasses are the only way to get what we need out of them? Food for thought.
Yet another laugh-outloud piece, Aunt Mark. How true about the gov't. I do like the idea of 3-D watermelon seeds, but the Pee Wee 3-D is scary! Lol!
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