Dear Auntie,
My boyfriend & I have been together for over a year and are looking to "step it up" in the bedroom. He really wants to try something "different", you know...in thru the out door.... I am willing to try but I have large, bleeding hemorrhoids and I'm worried they'll ruin the experience for both of us. Do you have any suggestions?
Thank you,
Speed-bump
Dear Bumpy:
First of all...WTF? Girls...this is not something we do unless jewelry has been received, and I don't mean some piece of Avon crap. Second of all, this is not Jersey Shore, so unless sponsors are paying you to publicly debase yourself, I suggest sticking to things like French maids' uniforms and re-runs of Benny Hill to get you both excited. However...if the Hershey Highway TRULY appeals to you, I do NOT suggest starting that kind of fun with a case of the piles. Preparation H is no K-Y Jelly, and you remember that!
Dear Aunt Mark,
I hate my immediate supervisor and wish I could tell her to shove it where the sun doesn't shine. I'd be in a lot of trouble if I did, though, and don't have an alternative career lined up. What should I do? Please don't use my real name. She might be trolling around and see this, and I want to have a good weekend.
Signed,
Iwanna Kwit
Dear Iwanna:
We are all subject to supervisors that make our skin crawl and our teeth clench, and unfortunately life doesn't offer us too many LEGAL choices for rectifying the situation. I assume you have ruled out looking into any mob ties your family might have, so your next best option is indirect torture. Since your feelings and hard work are not being directly acknowledged at work, then indirectly retaliate. Put messages in his or her mailbox requesting them to return calls to people they can't stand, only to make those calls and find themselves stuck talking to them with no idea what the call was for. Carefully placed thumb tacks in seats and "kick me" signs may SEEM juvenile, but it is all about wearing down their self-worth ...and what better way to do that than force them to return to their high school insecurities. You are never going to feel okay just keeping your mouth shut, so plan some kind of untraceable revenge that you can witness, but not have to take responsibility for.
My boyfriend & I have been together for over a year and are looking to "step it up" in the bedroom. He really wants to try something "different", you know...in thru the out door.... I am willing to try but I have large, bleeding hemorrhoids and I'm worried they'll ruin the experience for both of us. Do you have any suggestions?
Thank you,
Speed-bump
Dear Bumpy:
First of all...WTF? Girls...this is not something we do unless jewelry has been received, and I don't mean some piece of Avon crap. Second of all, this is not Jersey Shore, so unless sponsors are paying you to publicly debase yourself, I suggest sticking to things like French maids' uniforms and re-runs of Benny Hill to get you both excited. However...if the Hershey Highway TRULY appeals to you, I do NOT suggest starting that kind of fun with a case of the piles. Preparation H is no K-Y Jelly, and you remember that!
Dear Aunt Mark,
I hate my immediate supervisor and wish I could tell her to shove it where the sun doesn't shine. I'd be in a lot of trouble if I did, though, and don't have an alternative career lined up. What should I do? Please don't use my real name. She might be trolling around and see this, and I want to have a good weekend.
Signed,
Iwanna Kwit
Dear Iwanna:
We are all subject to supervisors that make our skin crawl and our teeth clench, and unfortunately life doesn't offer us too many LEGAL choices for rectifying the situation. I assume you have ruled out looking into any mob ties your family might have, so your next best option is indirect torture. Since your feelings and hard work are not being directly acknowledged at work, then indirectly retaliate. Put messages in his or her mailbox requesting them to return calls to people they can't stand, only to make those calls and find themselves stuck talking to them with no idea what the call was for. Carefully placed thumb tacks in seats and "kick me" signs may SEEM juvenile, but it is all about wearing down their self-worth ...and what better way to do that than force them to return to their high school insecurities. You are never going to feel okay just keeping your mouth shut, so plan some kind of untraceable revenge that you can witness, but not have to take responsibility for.
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